Change the Game

Mahatma Gandhi's message, "Be the change you want to see in the world," sounds simple. It's a profound reminder that we need to consider how our choices express our values.

In everyday situations, it can be easier to see what needs to be changed than to get it done. Anyone who has worked in a complex organization has dealt with people and systems that seem to block solutions.

 

Mature workers (of any age) have learned to work with, through, and around these people and systems, and that is generally a good thing.

 

Sometimes, this ability is a liability. The status quo has a tendency to perpetuate itself, blocking innovation and needed changes. People who are keeping it going are often blind to the part they play. 

 

When Eric Berne wrote the book Games People Play fifty years ago, he used the term "game" to refer to repetitive series of interactions that result in a predictable, negative, outcome. This type of game is mostly played outside of awareness, so it can take a little digging to discover how you could be contributing to a situation you don't like.

 

The ethic of self-reliance has a side effect of keeping such self-reinforcing routines going. Bringing up an issue or complaint can be risky. That's when it's tempting to collude by keeping your mouth closed.

 

When, despite the workarounds, not solving the problem enables a negative situation to continue, true leaders step up and find a way to intervene.

 

The distinguishing characteristic of game-changers is that they consciously design their way out of negative routines. It can be messy, as people who followed Steve Jobs' professional life can testify. Or it can be conscious and elegant as you bring influence skills into play. 

 

When you are in a nonproductive or repetitive situation, three skills and three steps can give you traction while maintaining diplomacy.

 

 

The three crucial skills are:

1. Describing the facts

2. Developing a full representation of your desired outcome

3. Getting on the other person's map.

 

We will walk through these and then share the three powerful game-changing actions you can take to move any situation forward - especially those in which you feel stuck. 

 

The first step, which is to tell the truth about what is going on, is very helpful to me when I find myself struggling. The hardest and most rewarding part of that is to take ownership of my own reactions.

 

As long as I am focusing just on what other people ought to change, I won't be part of the solution.

 

If there's something that's been bugging you, find a quiet moment and observe your feelings and thoughts about the matter. Do you notice anything familiar about your responses? Have you been here before? That's a good sign that you may be playing into the problem while intending not to. 

 

Join us tomorrow for our 45-minute teleseminar where we will explore the three skills, go over the three steps that change the game, and end with the one quality that will help you do it. 

 

 

 

If you cannot attend and would like to listen to the recording, please email syntaxoffice@syntx.com and we will send you the link, which will be up for the coming week.