Friday, December 30, 2011

2012: What It Means


Every new year is an opportunity to re-set our expectations, our intentions, and our attitude just by recognizing our movement through time. 2012 has been imbued with additional meaning, all the way from "the end of the world as we know it" to our more immediate issues of politics and social change. 
From the Mayan calendar we learn that we are in transition times from one cycle of almost thirty thousand years to the next one. It may be hard to believe that human beings could be tuned in to such long cycles that reach so long before our memories and so far into our future. 
 
We do know that we are part of larger cycles of time. Most recently, the Age of Aquarius was heralded as a time bringing in a new peaceful order. As we look and listen to what's happening now, it can seem that we are going in the other direction: unrest, poverty, climate change, civil and international wars. 
 
Some say that this is a stage of clearing. When you go into a room that has been darkened and you turn on the light, you may see a lot of dirt and cobwebs that were not visible before. I love our ability to reframe our experience so that we can be encouraged in the face of discouraging circumstances. 
 
There are many examples of how people rise above extremely tough times. Even when Viktor Frankl was held in a Nazi concentration camp, he refused to let his captors take away his dignity and hope for humanity. Christianity is built on the triumph of hope over despair in the story of Jesus. We have all probably been inspired by someone in our own lives whose light overcame darkness.
 
We are all capable of that kind of transformation. Even on a minor scale, without being imprisoned or crucified, we have the choice of turning on a light for ourselves and for others.
 
We may need reminders of this on a regular basis. I know I do. Whether it comes in the form of a notable year, a moment in time, or inspiration through challenges near or far, it is up to each of us to pay attention to the reminders.
 
Whatever the large-scale events, threats, or calendars bring to us, transformation comes back to being a personal choice. As we enter 2012, how willing are you to clear out negativity, reach out to people who could use your help, and "be the change you want to see in the world"?
 
Listen to how you speak, be aware that each action has a ripple effect, and remember that we are all in this together. That will give meaning to the year 2012 for you and those around you without having to know whether the Mayan calendar or any other cosmic turnings really hold sway.
 
I personally like the message of the book 2012: The Transformation from the Love of Power to the Power of Love by Robert Roskind with Mayan elder Tata Pedro Cruz, which shares the ancient knowledge for our modern time.
 
That is my wish for you, dear reader, that your life will be filled with the Power of Love in 2012.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Choosing Happiness

What is happiness? What does it take to be happy? We all want to feel happy. Do we know how?
It seems we were born knowing how. Babies show their feelings -- and happiness is definitely among them.

Sometimes we fall out of the state of happiness and want to find ways to get back there. Various aspects of these Happy Holidays can be stressful, including basic things like bad weather, traffic, or too much to do.

Well-known NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) author and trainer Suzi Smith spoke about happiness on a webinar this week. Happiness has been shown to increase longevity, and has health benefits, in addition to being desirable in itself.

She reminded us of several basic NLP techniques for returning to a happy state of mind. One was to become conscious of the content of our thoughts. If they are negative, change to positive content. For instance, when you make a mistake, look for solutions and learning rather than beating yourself up. The important thing is to become conscious of those negative thoughts.

Suzi told some good stories and used NLP anchoring to give us the choice of waking up to a happy day when our feet first hit the floor in the morning. Thanks, Suzi, for that holiday gift!

There is so much in NLP, and in Suzi's wisdom, that she was able to go over many useful strategies even in a short session.

One of the interesting things that came up was a participant, I think from Germany, saying that his clients ask, "But what about all the things I have to do?" I think how we handle that question is the key to maintaining a happy state of mind.

Thinking about what I have to do has several drawbacks. One is that it can take me out of my body and the immediate present. Another is that it can invoke worry about future actions. I can start feeling stressed and under time pressure. The feeling of being rushed and having too much to do gets in the way of my feeling happy.

The positive intention behind thinking about what I have to do, i.e., getting me to do it, is worthwhile. I do want to be motivated to take care of my responsibilities and accomplish my dreams.

This intention can be accomplished with joy. I find it easier to do it with joy if I connect with my real motivation - the reason I have to do whatever it is.

In most cases, what I have to do is to keep myself and my loved ones happy and well. That is a joyful prospect and I am glad to do it. I appreciate the reminders that bring me back to that awareness.

Yesterday at a meeting of the South Bay OD Network, speaker Karen Colligan brought up happiness in the context of work. She had us think about a time we loved what we were doing. It's great to be able to have that kind of feeling while earning a living.

If it turns out that your job is not what you totally love doing, you have the choice of focusing on the things it allows you to do that you do love.

My work has some parts I don't love doing. It helps me to be happy doing them when I step into the feeling I'll have when they are done. And then remember to savor it when it really is done. I just love that cleared-off desk!

OK, you probably have much bigger things to be happy about than clearing your desk. Focus on those!

Happiness is contagious. Research on social networks* has shown that we are 15% more likely to be happy if someone we are directly connected with is happy, and 10% if a friend of a friend is happy. We are even 6% more likely to say we are happy if our friend's friend's friend is happy. Even if we haven't met them. The researchers conclude that "having more friends is not enough--having more happy friends is the key to our own emotional well-being."

So let this note be a reminder to be conscious of your thoughts, choose happiness, and be sure to spread it around.

*From the book Connected by Nicholas A. Christakis, MD, PhD, and James H. Fowler, PhD. 2009.